Psych Heart 2: Baroquen Heart
by A. James Robin
Summary: When Yuffie is found to be liable for the death of Marlene, she decides to run from the law, taking Vincent and their newborn son Hunter with them. Can the new family survive, or will the thrill of the chase tear apart their marriage?
1. Cashing A Check She Couldn't Pay

**Baroquen Heart**

Note: If you have not yet read the first story in this series, '**Psych Heart', **I highly recommend that you do. I realize that this is a lot of reading, since Psych Heart is 25 chapters, so you don't have to if you don't want to, but just know, you might need to read up on what's happened so far to understand why things are the way they are in this story.

_**Chapter 1- Cashing a Check She Couldn't Pay**_

"Not now!", Yuffie cried out. "Why did this have to happen now!?

Yuffie did not disagree with Elena's ruling at all. Sure, she placed the 'Sephiroth Materia' into the box. Yes, she gave the box to Marlene as a Christmas present. And of course, through a series of unfortunate events, that Materia killed Marlene. There was only one problem with that scenario:

Yuffie didn't know about the 'Sephiroth Materia'.

All that Yuffie knew was that she bought a box of Materia from the Materia Company of Midgar, and that's what she got. In fact, she couldn't have recognized it off hand, because it was brand new. So why then should justice be served by condemning someone who was unaware of what they were doing?

"Vincent, I'm scared! Elena's going to send her forces after me, and then I'm dead!"

Yuffie's newlywed husband, Vincent Valentine, carefully lifted a hand to stroke her cheek and calm her.

"Yuffie, don't worry. All you'll have to do is just explain your side of the story, and then they'll have to let you go."

"Vincent, didn't you read the newspaper? Elena's mind is made up, and she's going to kill me!"

"I think you're overreacting. Besides, the baby is crying. I think he wants his mother this time."

"You know, he has a name. We called him Hunter, so please stop calling it a 'him'."

"But now you're calling Hunter an 'it'."

"You know what I mean, Vincent! Gawd, sometimes you get on my nerves so bad!"

It only took a matter of seconds before Vincent heard Yuffie's exclamation, "Grossness!!"

"It's not grossness, Yuffie." Vincent said. "It's perfectly normal."

"Then I'd like to see you change him!"

"You know, Yuffie, he has a name."

"Will you shut up!?"

Yuffie's last exclamation startled Hunter, and he began to cry out.

Yuffie could hear Vincent saying, "See, now you made him cry!"

Yuffie stormed out of the room and stood on a footstool so that she could face him eye to eye. "Vinnie, why do you always insist on turning everything around on me? I guess since I made him cry, it's my fault that he's crying. Is that what you're trying to say?"

A slight grin began to appear on Vincent's face as he replied, "Do you realize that what you just said makes no sense at all?"

"Whatever. Why do we always argue, anyway? We're supposed to look like the perfect couple to everyone else in the world, and I sure as heck don't want us to end up like Cloud and Tifa did."

"Perhaps it's because we jumped into this marriage too quickly, Yuffie."

"I don't know. Our marriage was great before. Maybe you should have used protection."

Vincent's eyes grew wide as he blurted out, "What!? We have a beautiful child now, and are you trying to say you wish you never had him?"

"No, no! I don't mean it that way. I was just talking in hindsight."

"Oh. That's good.

…besides, you could have used protection too."

At that moment, a rock flew through the window of their house, landing onto the kitchen table.

"Vincent, what's going on?"

"Let me check it out. You can go calm Hunter down."

When Vincent found the brick, he saw that it had a note wrapped around it, which read:

"Yuffie,

By order of Elena, the soon-to-be ruler of Midgar, you are not to leave your house until Elena is appointed as head of the Midgar Parliament in one weeks' time. If you run, we will hunt you down until we find you.

Sincerely,

Tseng "

"Uh, Yuffie, you need to read this."

"Is it safe?"

"Yes, come in here."

When Yuffie had finished the note, she blurted out the first thing that came to her head.

"We need to run away!"

"Why? They'll hunt us down!"

"Yeah right! Do you really think Midgar authorities are that good? I don't think so. Besides, it's better than sitting here, waiting for my death. I don't want to die!"

"I don't want you to, either."

"Then it's decided. Let's hurry up and pack!"

"Yuffie, this plan is entirely stupid!"

"I know. That's why I thought of it. But I've got you to protect me and Hunter, right? You are coming, right?"

"Of course I am. If you're intent on running from the law, then I'm enough of a fool for you to follow suit. But what about money? We're not exactly rich, you know."

"It's alright. I'll take care of it."

"I thought you might say that."

As Vincent scurried around the house to collect his things, a thought entered his mind:

"What have I gotten myself into?"


	2. Crass Diligence

**Chapter Two- Crass Diligence**

When Yuffie's pencil had made its final mark onto the paper, she looked at her husband, Vincent, and asked, "Are we there yet?"

"No, Yuffie. I don't even know where I'm supposed to be going."

"I told you, we're going to Kalm."

"But Kalm is just down the road. That's not much of an adventure."

"So? Kalm is calm."

"I guess that makes sense."

* * *

In the hours before Yuffie and Vincent had departed Midgar, they began to see a change in the town. In just that short amount of time, already there were flyers and posters going up on lamp posts and city lights. Every one of them depicted Yuffie, wanted for murder. When the family arrived in Kalm, they were glad to see that no such spectacle had followed them here. If they were wanted in this town, then it was a silent search.

"Wow, Vince. It's like Midgar's the only town that cares about putting me behind bars."

"Well, by law, yes. But our ShinRa buddies can still track us down anywhere. You do have a point, though. We need to keep moving, but it should be okay to stay the night here."

Yuffie, Vincent, and little Hunter checked into the Kalm Inn for the night. After finding their room, Vincent stated, "I'm hungry. Do you want a bite to eat?"

"Of course! Where are you going?"

"I noticed that there's a seafood place by the town entrance. I didn't catch the name, but I'm in the mood for aquatic food."

"Okay. That's fishy."

"And that's a horrible pun."

"Yeah, I know. That sounds good. I brought some of Hunter's baby food, so I'll just stay here and feed him."

"Okay. I suppose they do takeout. I don't see why they wouldn't. Well, I'm going now. Bye."

"Bye."

* * *

Baby Hunter was surprisingly cooperative at his suppertime. It was the first time in a while that he hadn't spit up all over Yuffie's shoulder. When Hunter had finished his food, Vincent had not yet returned. Every time Yuffie would look at Hunter, she couldn't resist the temptation of speaking to him, as if he could comprehend every word that she said.

"Mommy and daddy are having an adventure, aren't we, Hunter?"

There was no real response, just the loving smile of a child without cares.

"You look like you're having fun. I wish it were that fun for me, too. But mommy's in big trouble, okay? Don't worry though. I'm still your innocent protector. Gawd, I must sound so silly right now. But that's alright, isn't it, Hunter?"

Hunter giggled in agreement, or at least that's what Yuffie took it to mean.

"That's right. We're going to run away to a beautiful place, where there's no death, and no crime or punishment. We'll live happily ever after in a land between the clouds, just me, Vinnie, and baby Hunter…

…and fish…

…man, I wish Vincent would get here soon. I'm starving."

* * *

As if on cue, Vincent arrived through the door. He looked happy to have retrieved nourishment, but there was still some worry hidden in his face.

"Vinnie, what's up?"

"I had to fill up on gas on the way. This is insane, Yuffie. It was 4.50 a gallon and I had to wait in line forever. Everything in the stores is just gone. It's all gone."

"Why? Surely, this isn't a side affect of anything Rufus did."

"Of course not. If anything, it's because of the uncertainty of our new leader. I suppose change has its downsides."

"So you're saying that the world of money is turning upside down just because of a change in leadership."

"Well, you can't really say that exactly. Money is never anyone's fault. It's everyone's fault."

Vincent sat the bag of food on the table, and took the seafood baskets out.

"Okay, I've got Jumbo Shrimp for myself, and Alaskan Flounder for the lady."

Yuffie began to giggle, and Vincent queried, "Why are you laughing?"

"Because, Alaskan…Flounder…!"

"I don't get it."

"You wouldn't. It's a political joke."

Yuffie was the first to bite into her food, and Vincent just sat there on the bed for a while.

"Vincent, what's wrong?"

"Isn't it odd how sometimes we just come out of the blue and talk about social issues…stuff that really matters?"

"Yeah. Weird. What's on your mind now?"

"Why do we want to hurt so much?"

"…'Cause we tied our pain below, and no one ever has to know…"

"That's not original."  
"Nope. That's straight from the book of Hayley Williams."

"That's another thing. How do we know these people? They're not even from our world!"

"Oh, the joys of Teh Internetz!"

"O….K…."

Vincent and Yuffie munched on their deep-fried aquatic life silently, until Vincent interrupted the silence.

"You know, the guy at the fish place cooked these things all wrong."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, I know how you cook fish."

"Yeah, I try to use as little oil and frying as I can. It makes it healthier."

"Apparently, this man doesn't get it. He must have soaked our fish in a literal ocean of grease."

"That's not good. It's like they're trying to kill us, or something."

"Yeah, maybe."

* * *

After the food was finished, Yuffie announced, "Vincent, it's already 9:00 PM, and Hunter still isn't asleep yet. The only way he's going to go to sleep is if we do also."

"Sounds reasonable."

"Okay. I'm going to change into something more comfortable."

Yuffie tried to open the door to the bathroom, but it wouldn't budge.

"Vincent, the door's stuck."

"It can't be. You're just doing it wrong."

"No, I'm not! Come try it yourself!"

Vincent also tried to open the door, to no avail.

"Wow, it really is stuck. Oh well, I guess you'll just have to undress in here."

"You'd like that, wouldn't you, Vinnie?"

"Yes."

"Of course, because I'd start by taking my shirt off, just like this."

Yuffie removed her shirt, revealed her young beautiful skin, and her lacy undergarments.

"And then I'd push you on the bed, like this."

Yuffie did just that, and Vincent softly fell onto the bed.

"And then, because I can't get that door open, I'd lift up my leg and pee on your head, like this."

"Okay! Okay! I'll get the door open!"

After several attempts, Vincent finally slammed the door open…

…knocking it off of its hinges.

"Uh, there you go, Yuffie."

"Great. Well, you better not peek!"

"I'm your husband. Don't I have a right to peek?"

"No, you have a right to ask."

"Can I…"

"No."

Vincent sat on the edge of the bed and waited for Yuffie to 'finish her business'. However, all of the sounds, along with the idea of running water traipsing through his head, made him want to go very badly. When Yuffie had 'completed her duty' and exited the bathroom, Vincent rushed in for his turn. Yuffie was thankful that the sounds she was forced to hear weren't quite as tempting as Vincent's, since she'd already taken a leak. Still, there was something odd to this water-like sound. It didn't finish. It just kept rushing, on and on.

"Vinnie, what's the matter? Did you swallow an ocean?"

"In a matter of speaking…..no."

When Vincent exited the bathroom, he saw Yuffie with a mirror in her hand, trying to catch a reflection from the bathroom.

"Yuffie, I thought you said no peeking."

"Oh, that was just for me. You see, women have privacy issues. But as for you, you probably have some kinky thing in your head that likes being watched."

"Let's give a round of applause for Grand Psychologist, Dr. Phillis."

"Don't even compare me that media hog!"

"I thought you loved watching that show."

"No, it was just the only thing on."

* * *

The newlyweds went to bed early, and soon after, Hunter did as well. Still, Yuffie and Vincent weren't entirely asleep. Before they both dozed off, Yuffie whispered, "Vinnie, are you worried for me?"

"Yes, I am. I'm terrified. I'm afraid that we'll be caught, and you'll be jailed for life in a best-case scenario. I'm afraid we might have run for nothing, and that we'll spend our lives running scared when we could have stopped."

"I'm worried about Tifa."

Vincent rolled onto his side, so that he was face to face with his wife.

"Yuffie, why did you think of her at a time like this?"

"Because, she gave in to her madness and terror. Vin, the only true friend I've ever had in my life has killed the man that rescued me from the forest so many years ago, and now she's stuck at Renfroe."

"Tifa's not stuck. She made those choices."

"…Because of Cloud."

"No, Yuffie. Cloud got better. He tried to be a better example, just like Sephiroth is still doing."

"It didn't matter to her. Cloud was still Cloud in her mind."

"Exactly….her mind."


	3. Were, Not Are

Note: If you want an explanation about what has happened to Tifa in the time before this story, please read my other FF7 story, Psych Heart.

**Chapter 3- Were, Not Are**

Yuffie and Vincent wasted no time in trying to make another baby. That was not their intention, of course, but they still naively placed their full faith in their protection.

When Yuffie and Vincent woke up, they both felt slightly odd, but they didn't think much of it.

"Good morning, Yuffie."

"(yawn) Mornin', Vinnie."

"Where do we go now?"

"Well, the closest town is Junon. We can visit Tifa, too, since Renfroe's local office is located there."

"I thought Cloud couldn't raise the money to send her."

"Didn't you hear, Vince? Rufus granted Tifa the chance to execute Cloud in exchange for her rehabilitation."

"It sounds like Rufus wanted Cloud to die."

"Well, I guess Rufus thought he knew too much."

After the couple got dressed and ate breakfast, Vincent asked, "What were you writing the other day?"

"Oh, nothing important."

* * *

When the family rode into Junon, Renfroe was their first stop. Since it was a women's center, only Yuffie could enter. She walked up to the front desk and requested a visit with Tifa. Permission was granted, and Yuffie was led to a large meeting area.

Tifa walked in, and though she was alone, the two friends could see that cameras were watching their every move.

Tifa looked only slightly more healthy than she did when she arrived. The former bartender was still all skin and bones. Tifa was the first to speak.

"I never expected anyone to visit me, after I disposed of Cloud."

"I'm still your friend, Tifa. I just want to know why you did this."

"I'm not even."

"Not even what?"

Tifa shook her head and replied, "No, that's all. I'm not even. There's good and bad in everything, you know? There's no balance at all."

"Uh, Tifa, are you okay?"

"Is anyone ever okay? Oh well, how's the bar going?"

"It's closed down."

Tifa's face flashed a look of regret that Yuffie couldn't miss.

"Tifa, you haven't heard anything since you left, have you? I had my kid, a son named Hunter, but Elena took over Midgar and started blaming me for Marlene's death! I'm running for my life!"

Yuffie expected to hear an 'Oh No!' or an 'I'm so sorry to hear that.', but Tifa simply stated, "You're not even, either."

"What do you mean?"

Tifa shifted from a sitting position on the couch to laying down.

"Yuffie, do you think you would be described as being a hero or a villain?"

"A hero, for sure."

"Okay. What about a hero or an anti-hero?"

"Gosh, I don't know, Tifa. Why do you have to be this way?"

"Why did Cloud have to be that way?"

"Gawd, Tifa! He's dead! I know that he hurt you. Even with him gone, you still might not be able to be normal again. Maybe you'll become the same person that he hated so long ago, and that scares you, doesn't it? But you're free now! Really take it in! Look at you. You think you've got it so damn hard! Your little shot at revenge is complete, so why do you still want to be thin? Sure, you may not eat that much, but I don't see you ending your life, either."

"That's not original, Yuffie."

Yuffie hopped off of her chair and knelt beside Tifa's couch.

"Who cares, Tifa? I know I just amended your line from the movie, and I'll do it again. Do you know why? It's because you used to be deep, you really did! You're as thin as paper now, Tifa, and I'm not just talking about your body. I'm talking about your attitude."

Tifa kept silent, but she reached for Yuffie's hand, and held it.

"Tifa, how is your rehab coming along?"

Tifa turned her head and stared deeply into Yuffie's eyes. The glance was piercing as Tifa exclaimed, "Yuffie, you have to get me out of here!"

"No."

"Every day at lunch, they give us meat, and they keep forcing us to eat bread and sweets. They're killing me, Yuffie!"

Yuffie became very aggravated with Tifa at that moment, and her face began to turn a shade of red. She took hold of Tifa tiny wrists, and held them in front of Tifa's face. "Look at yourself, Tifa! I am on my knees, begging you, please, just take a real look at yourself! I know you can't be pleased with how things have turned out."

Tifa began to cry. She tried to speak, but the words became drowned out by her tears.

"Yuffie…do you see…why I did…what I did…to Cloud? I see myself…and every day I see…the marks of what Cloud has done. That's the problem, Yuffie! I'm not doing this! I love you, Yuffie. I love you like a sister, but I'm not doing this! I thought I would feel better when I disposed of my pain, but I didn't dispose of it, did I? I feel awful. I just want to lie down and die. I've told everyone here, I just want to lie down and die."

Yuffie burst out in tears, bawling over the pain and selfishness of her friend. Yuffie's tears began to stain the carpet as she surprisingly replied, "Fine. Go ahead. If you wish to give up, then I can't stop you. Oh Gawd, why Tifa? Why?"

Yuffie got up off of her knees, and hugged Tifa. It was the first time that they had ever embraced each other so tightly.

"Yuffie…"

"Yes, Tifa?"

"They're coming for me."

"Who's coming for you, Tifa?"

"The orderlies."

"They said we had a half-hour together. It's only been twenty minutes."

"No. I mean I don't think Rufus is going to send in the next payment."

"Why not?"

"He's not making any money. He's partially disabled, and I don't think he has the income to support a lost cause any longer."

"Tifa, please, tell me why you think that you are such a lost cause."

"Because, Yuffie. The nurses told me…something bad."

"What is it, Tifa? For Gawd's sake, just tell me what it is!"

"Because of the way I've starved myself…It's damaged by kidneys and liver. Yuffie, it's true, I wanted to lie down and die, but on my own terms. I hate feeling like my life is being ripped from me without my consent. I'm powerless."

A voice permeated the room through an intercom in the corner of the room: "Okay, girls. Visiting time is up."

Both Tifa and Yuffie's faces were covered in tears. As Yuffie turned to walk away, she told Tifa, "This might be the last time I ever see you. Do you have anything to say?"

"I've lost my right to words. I hope you understand."

"I do. Words just make it hurt more. But I do have one last thing to say to you. You're not powerless. You're my hero, Tifa. You always were."


	4. Take These Sniffles Away

**Chapter 4- Take These Sniffles Away**

Achoo!...  
Sniff...  
"Aw Gawd, Vinnie, i'm sick!"

Vincent awoke to the sound of his wife's coughing.

Sniff...

"Great, i've got it too, Yuffie."

"We were 'sposed to be moving out today. Now Hunter's gonna catch it too. Did you bring a heal materia?"

"No."

With runny noses and scratchy throats, Yuffie, Vincent, and Hunter hit the road. Yuffie sat in the back seat with Hunter while Vincent drove.

"Hey, Yuffie, where are we going?"

Yuffie slumped down in her seat in order to catch some more rest. Before she dozed off, Yuffie simply pointed forward and moaned, "Jus' go dat way...sniff, cough...'til we find a city."

Yuffie did not really find rest. Every bump of the road jarred her consciousness awake, making her feel even worse. Finally, the family arrived in Costa Del Sol. The beach town was virtually empty, since it was the beginning of November. As they pulled into town, Hunter started to cry.

"Is he hungry?", Vincent queried.

"No, he can't be. I jus' gave him a bite to eat. I think he's thirsty, though. Can you pull over by the store and get some formula? We're out."

"We don't really have to. You can give him some of your own milk. That's what they're there for."

"Vinnie, don't remind me. I don't feel good."

"I guess you're right. I'll take care of Hunter, but then we're both going to the doctor."

"Fine."  
Achoo!

* * *

The last thing that Yuffie wanted to feel at a time like this was the cold metal of a doctor's table. The freezing sensation quickly sent shivers down her spine. When the doctor came in, he did a basic kind of checkup.

"What are your symptoms?"

"I've got a runny nose, scratchy throat, i'm starting to run a fever, and it kinda stings when I use the bathroom. Does that sound like the flu?"

"Slightly, but tell me more about the 'stinging'".

When Yuffie left the room, Vincent was already waiting for her, nervously. "Well, Yuffie, i've got a prescription for cold medicine.", Vincent lied. "What did you get?"

"It's anti-viral medicine."

Vincent tried to act shocked as he queried, "What!? You have a virus? But it's still basically giving you flu-like symptoms, right?"

When he looked into Yuffie's eyes, he could see that she was not happy, and that she was glaring back at him with a very hateful look in her eyes.

"Vincent, let's just get in the car and leave."

"Yuffie, tell me what the problem is."

Yuffie began to cry a few tears, but they were not out of sadness. Yuffie gritted her teeth as she accused, "My problem is you, you dirty lying cheater!"

"Uh...Yuffie...what are you talking about?"

"Vincent, you gave me Herpes!"

"We'll just take the medicine, and everything will be cured, right?"  
"Wrong. This stuff will just mask the symptoms. We'll still be genetic carriers. I know you got it recently, because Hunter doesn't have it. So in the short time after he was born, you had to have gotten it from another woman! Now this virus will pass on to all of our future children!"

"You only wanted one anyway, right?"

"Vinnie, that's not the point! While I was at home, taking care of Hunter, you were off having an affair with some bug-riddled trailer trash! Who was it?"

Vincent started to walk away. As the fragile family got into the car, Vinnie muttered, "I'm not telling you anything."

Yuffie's hand flew through the air and landed across Vincent's face as she gave him a fierce slap. "If you're going to treat me that way, then stop the car and leave me here. Better yet, i'll take the car."

"You can't afford to do that. You've a fugitive from the law, and now i probably am too, for providing your escape. This is my car, and i'm the one with the money. Hunter is our son, and i'm not leaving. But having said that, I cannot tell you who I was with."

"Why not?"

"Because of the implications. There's something at work in our world that only I can see."

"Why is that, and why aren't you doing something about it?"

"I'm the only one that can comprehend the genius of 'The Plan'. It's going to happen, and there's nothing we can do to stop it."

"Vinnie, you're scaring me."

"Can you give me some kind of clue about what's going to happen?"

"I can only let you see the tip of the iceberg."  
"That's fine."

"Okay."

"Well, what is it?"

"Hojo is back."

"What!? How?! After he mutated and fell into the Mako, he died!"

"Firstly, we only thought that was Hojo. Apparently, he had engineered a clone to look like him. The real Hojo is still alive. He's the one who created the 'Sephiroth Materia'."

"Ooh, I can't wait to get my hands on him! I'll make him pay for what he's done! But why has he waited seven years to reappear?"

"Seven is the perfect number."

"Tell me who your mistress is."

"Nope."

"You'll have to tell me sometime."

"No, I don't."

* * *

Since it was late, Yuffie and Vincent stopped by the drug store to get their medicine, but then checked into a nearby hotel. They specifically ordered a room that contained two separate beds.

When Vincent woke up in the morning, he found that everything was gone. There was no sign of Yuffie or Hunter. His wallet was empty. His car was not in the parking lot. Worst of all, his anti-viral medicine was no longer on the nightstand. There was no doubt in Vincent's mind. This looked like a classic Kisaragi heist. It was her first in years.


	5. Drive, She Said

Note: I'd like to thank everyone who has done reviews for Baroquen Heart. For some reason, this story isn't quite as successful as the first entry in the series, but I'm hoping that will change with time. In the meantime, I have moved this story into the Romance/Tragedy section of Final Fantasy 7. It should get me more hits, and it's probably the category it should have been in to start with.

To kind of put it in perspective, as of now, my first story, Psych Heart, averaged 280 hits and 1 review per chapter. (it has almost 2,000 hits for the first chapter, but that doesn't mean anything, since the last 5 or 6 chapters haven't hit triple digits yet.)

Baroquen Heart is only averaging 40 hits per chapter. However, I must congratulate my dedicated readers, SilverSpirit 101, Les Yeux Sans Visage, and Knight of Dreams for helping to raise my review rate to 2 per chapter. I intend for this story to have a lot of chapters, so that will add up quick. Thanckx to all.

**Chapter Five- Drive, She Said**

There was no question in Yuffie's mind about where she should go next. There was also no question that Vincent would figure it out quickly, and track her down. Still, there was no where else to go, other than across the water. Yuffie Kisaragi was on a straight path to Wutai.

Vincent's red Audi Roadster was doing an easy 70 down the newly-constructed roads, with Yuffie at the wheel. The feisty ninja loved the feeling of the wind blowing her hair and gliding across her face. Apparently, Hunter loved it too, because he was resting calmly in his baby seat. From where she was currently located, it would take a few hours to even reach the edge of land, and after that, she would have to find a place that would send both her and the car across the water. And that's nothing compared to finding a way to get the car across the rocks and hills surrounding Wutai. Truth be told, she had thoughts of trashing it once she reached land's end.

As Yuffie started to pass through some of the more populated coastal areas, she was forced to lower her speed. Trust me; she didn't do it because she wanted to. It felt like a waste to be going only 40 in such a lovely sports car, but Yuffie never quite understood why Vincent needed a car in the first place, since he could fly. While she was 'coasting' through the cities in her way, Yuffie kept glancing back in the mirror at Hunter. He looked so peaceful in his little seat. 'It's such a shame that he was a mistake.' Yuffie thought.

At first, she couldn't figure out why such a crazy thought would grace the lining of her mind. After a few more minutes of red lights and feather-footed elderly, the reasoning began to become clear. 'If it wasn't for Vincent, I wouldn't have this baby. If it wasn't for Vincent, I wouldn't have Herpes. If it wasn't for Vincent, I wouldn't feel like life has ended already.'

Of course, Yuffie would quickly counter such thoughts with a clever statement, usually muttered under her breath. "Look at him. He's so cute. And he's mine! How could I turn down that face? Besides, parenting is a sacrifice, right?"

'But how much am I willing to sacrifice? Is it too much for you sacrifice your private life; your soul?'

"Where did that come from?" Yuffie whispered to herself.

'It would cut on costs. Sure, you love that little baby, but life would be easier if you didn't have to pay for formula or diapers. Just slowly wean him off of life.'

"Okay, maybe I need a break."

Yuffie stopped at a hotel just a few miles from the western shore. It was not a very pleasant place, and being a firm believer in Feng Shui, the establishment sent shivers down her spine. However, it was all she was willing to pay for. Vincent might have had a good sum of money, but she didn't want to spend it all in one place.

When Yuffie opened the door of her room and carried Hunter inside, she realized that this would not be a very pleasant night. There was no TV. There was no kind of heater to stop the cold February air from entering the room. The window refused to close all the way, and the bed was on its last legs. Cream colored paint was peeling from the walls, and the floors were simply wooden with a shiny finish on it. For the first time in hours, Hunter cried. He cried through the evening, and he cried into the night.

The only way that Yuffie could even think about getting any sleep was to tune Hunter out by hiding her head under the pillow. It seems cruel, but that's exactly what Yuffie did. Even with the noise drowned out, she couldn't escape the maternal thoughts in her head. 'Is he thirsty or hungry?' 'No, I just fed him…and he returned the favor by biting my nipple.' 'Is he dirty?' 'Nope. I just finished changing him.' 'Is he longing for compassion and understanding?' 'So? I am too, and no one's going to march in like Prince Charming and cheer me up.' 'Gawd, that was selfish.'

The clock struck midnight, and still, baby Hunter was crying for his mother. Yuffie's nerves were on the verge of breaking. Finally, she got up out of bed and reached for Hunter's pacifier. Yuffie stuck it in Hunter's mouth, but he didn't want it. He just kept crying, adamant that he did not like being silenced. Yuffie grabbed him and screamed, "**Hunter!! Shut up!!**"

Obviously, that didn't sit well with Hunter at all. He started crying louder than he had before. Yuffie instantly felt an extreme wave of guilt over what she had done. Deep inside, she knew that it was wrong to yell at her child. Despite attempts to write it off because of nerves, still the motherly sense within Yuffie wouldn't let her sleep. She did not go back to sleep. Long after Hunter finally began to rest, Yuffie sat in the corner of the room. Now it was her who was doing the crying. From that moment on, Yuffie kept a solitary thought etched across the canvas of her soul: 'I don't have what it takes to be a good mother.'

In the morning, Hunter appeared to be fine. He looked happy, and eager to face the new day. Yuffie's eyes were still red, and she was having serious regrets about leaving Vincent. Never before had Yuffie realized the depth of her dependence. She took her first anti-viral pill with a glass of orange juice.

The medicine wouldn't take effect for a few hours, and the knowledge that she would have to take a pill every day for the next few years annoyed her to no end. Sure, it was no longer life threatening after the first set of pills, and the first bottle would effectively rid her of blisters in her secretive places. But the pill was still something that was a reality, unless she wanted the blisters to appear on her lips and mouth for the rest of her life. On a pain level, it wouldn't hurt as much, but the thought of living life with an eternal cold sore basically scared her into taking the medicine. She knew that the medication wouldn't be for life, but it would be for a long time, and she had decided to let the thinking up to the doctors.

'But wait! I wonder how Vincent's feeling.'


	6. The Fifth Ace

Note: Hello everyone, and welcome to the newest installment of Baroquen Heart. I hope you like it, and thanks to everyone for the reviews. In the past few weeks, I had been a little down because of a lack of hits, but now I've adopted a new way of thinking: any number of hits is fine, as long as I have reviews and people who show an interest. I would rather have a lot of reviews than a lot of hits, anyway.

**Chapter Six- The Fifth Ace**

There was never an easy way for Vincent Valentine to look or act simply. As he strode firmly into the Costa Del Sol Convenience Store, the various faces all focused on the mysterious man in the red cape. Vincent drifted slowly to the back of the store, stopping in front of the video poker machine. By law, the machine was not supposed to be there, but Vincent was never one to complain. It was always his tradition to play only once.

The caped stranger shoved a ten-gil coin into the machine as he asked the cashier, "What's the max prize for this game?"

"It's just a tiny machine. Max is only 100 gil."

Vincent turned his eyes back to the game where a 'draw cards' button was flashing. When he touched it, a hand of cards was dealt to him. His first draw consisted of five aces. Vincent raised an eyebrow and queried to the cashier again, "Sir, I think there's a glitch in the machine. It's showing five aces."

"No way. You're just pulling my leg."

"I'm as serious as herpes."

When the cashier walked over and saw the five aces, he whistled and yelled out, "Hey, Jaynie! We've got ourselves a winner!"

Vincent instantly guessed that Jaynie was probably the store manager. He half-expected to see a lady walk out of the back office who looked like a cross between a duck and radioactive sludge. Much to his surprise, when Jaynie walked in, Vincent saw that she was a very attractive woman. The first thing that caught his eye was Jaynie's shoulder length black hair.

The female store owner had a cute young face that belied her age of thirty-one. Overall, Jaynie appeared to be a very beautiful woman, except for two flaws: she was rail-thin, and had cuts on her arm that Vincent immediately recognized as being made by a needle.

"So, who do we have here?", Jaynie queried. Her voice sounded deep and rough, like someone who had been inhaling a lot of bad smoke.

"The name's Vincent. I think there's a problem with your poker machine."

"You don't have a badge, do you?"

"No, I don't."

"Then let's have a look-see."

When Jaynie saw the image of the five aces on the screen, she placed her hands on her hips and nonchalantly ordered, "Come with me."

Vincent followed Jaynie to the back of the store. Her office was very small, and seemed to have once been used as a supply closet. There was a small desk in the corner with a laptop computer sitting beside a lamp that shone fluorescent green.

"Have a seat, Vincent."

"Excuse me, but what's going on here?"

"There's nothing wrong with that machine. There's something right with it. Do you know how we first came into possession of that game?"

"No. I'm not a local."

"That's alright. I wasn't either, once upon a time. It was a morning just like any other morning. The clouds outside were dark and stormy…"

Vincent interrupted, "So you're saying that the mornings here are always dark and stormy?"

"No. It was just for emphasis. Anyway, one of my rookie employees had quit on me. It was on very short notice, so I had to man the register by myself. Business was moving slow, because it was a winter day like this one. So I'm sitting in my chair behind the register, listening to old rock tunes when I hear a buzzing noise. All of a sudden, this big video poker machine comes flying through the ceiling, and lands right there where it's standing today.

I looked around to see if there were any witnesses, but like most other strange events, there was no one around. I propped the game up, and plugged it in. It worked perfectly fine, except for one glitch. There was a small message at the bottom of the machine that said:

'The man who has deflowered immortality will be the key to Eden. He is the fifth ace.'

"And you think that man is me?"

"The machine seems to think so. I think you're just trying to hide some kind of secret."

"And what kind of secret would that be?"

"You know how to contact the realm of the dead."

"Woman, I am dead."

Not fully believing him, Jaynie jokingly stated, "Ooh, scary!"

"Yeah…well…I did the impossible. Now can I get my prize?"

"Sure. Anything you want. You can take the 100 gil. You can have a bit of my stash. Heck, you can even have me, if you want me."

"Tempting, but no. My wife just took off my money and my car. I still have my cell phone, but she won't pick up."

"…And you need a ride?"

"Yes."

"Well, I can't give it to you, because I'm busy here. But I'll call one of my friends to take you. She's supposed to be on vacation, but if I know her like I think I do, she'll enjoy a road trip even more. Let me call her."

After Jaynie's friend had been contacted, Jaynie instructed, "She'll be here in a bit. Follow me. I want to show you something."

Vincent followed her once again, this time back into the store. They walked down the aisle of snacks and potato chips until they came to the freezers in the corner that held the beverages. Jaynie opened the freezer door, picked out an energy drink, an asked, "How much do you think this costs?"

"The sticker says 20 gil."

"Yes, but do you place your faith in that sticker?"

"If you've done your job right, then yes."

Jaynie removed the price tag, and replaced it with another. "Now do you trust the price?"

"No. You changed it."

"What if I told you that the first sticker was incorrect, and this was the right one?"

"I wouldn't believe you."

"Well, let's check it at the register, won't we?"

Jaynie scanned the item, and the price on the register was different from both of the stickers. "You see, neither one of us knew what we were talking about, did we? And take this bag of chips, for example."

Jaynie picked up a random bag of chips and read from the bag, "Made by the Midgar Chip Factory. How do we really know that? Did you see the Midgar Chip Factory make this bag of chips with your own two eyes?"

"Well, no, but what are you getting at?"

"I'm talking about the message on the game machine. I've never trusted Eden, whatever it's supposed to be. I mean, look at me. I shoot up. Do you think a place like Eden interests me? Well, I can't lie. It does. But would it accept me? That's an altogether different proposition. So in turn, I don't think that I trust you, and my friend shouldn't either. Speaking of my friend, she's here now."

When Jaynie's friend walked through the door, Vincent could tell that this particular road trip would not necessarily be a carefree one. Standing in the doorway, talking on her cell phone and jingling her car keys in the air, was Reno's hermaphrodite girlfriend, Sakura.


	7. It's All Chaotic From Here

Note: I hope everyone is ready for this. If you think things are odd in Yuffie's world now, then let's see what you say when this chapter is completed. (If you want to know who Sakura is, then read Psych Heart Chapter 18)

Also, when I use Japanese words in this chapter, I'm not claiming to have a lot of knowledge in the language. However, I have been doing research from a lot of reliable sources. Don't worry if it's not quite right, because this is probably the only time i'll be using it.

**Chapter 7- It's All Chaotic From Here**

Vincent couldn't help but to scratch at the sores that were developing on his lower body. Since Yuffie had stolen away his medication, the days and nights were becoming steadily less enjoyable.

"Itchy?", Sakura asked.

"Like you wouldn't believe."

"Of course I would. I understand perfectly. You do know that I have a ..."

"Yes, everyone knows that it's your prized possession."

"Uh, yeah. How far do you want me to drive?"

"Don't stop until you reach the opposite coast."

"Ah, so it's an all-nighter. How are you so sure that Yuffie made it there safely?"

"I can feel it in my bones."

"Well, it doesn't matter much anymore."

"Why is that?"

"Gosh, Vinnie, are you that disconnected? Rufus and his cronies are planning a coup! You and Yuffie won't have to run anymore."

"Let's hope so. But how are they taking over? Is it a peaceful occupation?"

"Not by a long shot."

"Will there be bloodshed?"

"There doesn't have to be. Reno and Rude are infiltrating the big businesses as we speak."

"Will you please tell me something!?"

"The Turks are tapping into the factories' smokestacks and releasing psychedelic mist into the atmosphere."

Vincent practically jumped out of his seat when he heard the news. "Are they crazy?! Why?!"

"Beats me. It was one of Reno's tipsy ideas. Don't worry, though. It's a small concentration, so it won't kill anybody. It'll just make everyone trippy."

"What about the children and the elderly?"

Sakura frowned and confessed, "Oh, that's right. I guess Rufus forgot."

Vincent sighed deeply and muttered, "I quit."

"You quit what?"

"I quit trying to believe that our leaders have brains. I quit thinking that earth contains even one good person. I just quit."

"Vincent, I don't know what your problem is. I think it would be cool to go on a 'trip'. The environment is safe enough. The stuff is clear, so there won't be smog issues. What's not to love?"

"When will it go away?"

"Uh...hmm. We have no way of knowing."

"Just peachy. What did those idiots think they could achieve by doing this?"

"I don't know. World peace?"

* * *

For a second, Yuffie thought that she smelled something a bit odd in the air, but a strange feeling of peace fell over her. She and Hunter were on the road again, having ferried the car and themselves across the waters separating Wutai from the rest of the world.

As Yuffie inched closer to Wutai, she could tell that the years of the past had molded the town into something new and frightening. Where the quaint little village was once small and inviting, it now seemed to be a budding metropolis. She knew that tourism stats had been through the roof, but Yuffie had no idea that Wutai had become such a constantly busy area, and it made her uncomfortable.

The entrance into town was preceded by one of the last remaining artifacts: A welcome sign that said 'Now entering Wutai'. At the bottom of the sign was a new message that warned, 'For your safety, please do not inhale the air too deeply."

Yuffie drove up to the house that she had lived in long ago, before the adventure that made her a hero. The house had long been protected as a local landmark, so that Yuffie could come back to it anytime that she wanted.

Yuffie parked the sports car in the driveway. As she and Hunter exited the vehicle together, Yuffie inhaled a big whiff of the tainted 'acid air'. She almost stumbled as she approached the door and opened it. Her mind felt as if it were floating in the sky, and from the look of things, Hunter felt the same.

Yuffie switched on the lights, and truth be told, the scene set before her didn't quite register in her 'sky high' mind. There was a familiar person sitting on the couch. 'Are my eyes right?' 'Sure. They must be right.'

Yuffie Kisaragi found herself staring directly at Yuffie Kisaragi.

* * *

"Vincent, pump for me."

"Sakura, I don't think that came out quite the way you wanted it to."

"That's alright. I never claimed to be pure and wholesome anyway. Just pump the gas while I take a bathroom break."

When Sakura entered the small gas station, she realized three things:

1. She was making very good time. The pair of friendly strangers were already in the coastal region, and the clock was only reaching 8:00 PM.

2. Riding in a car with Vincent Valentine for ten hours was very boring. He didn't talk much, and when he popped a CD into the stereo system, it was always some low-pitched druid chant that sounded like a reject from an Ingmar Bergman soundtrack.

3. Gas station workers are too masterful in the art of staring.

Sakura felt as if every eye was on her, especially as she entered the men's restroom. Unfortunately for her, there was already someone occupying her position of choice: the urinal closest to the door. Sakura stepped in front of the second urinal, and she was bracing herself for what she knew was coming. The man next to her would, as usual, try to look over her shoulder and see the 'freak' in action.

That was always the worst part about having a particular male appendage. Rather than others being scared or grossed out, she was usually included as 'one of the guys' in ways that she never wished for.

Oddly enough, it didn't happen that way. The man in the urinal next to Sakura did not look down at her. He looked Sakura in the eyes and stated, in a creepy monotone voice, "It's all getting Darko."

"I'm sorry, I don't know what you're talking about."

Sakura zipped her pants and dashed out of the restroom, very tense after the odd saying that the mysterious man had muttered. Before she could make it out the door, the cashier whistled at her and said, "Hey, little lady. Your friend out there went over."

Sakura looked out the door and saw Vincent with a surprised look on his face, shrugging his shoulders. Sakura asked the cashier, "How much do I owe you?"

"Ten gil."

"Hey, Vincent! Bring me a Ten-gil Coin."

Vincent fumbled around in the car for a quarter, and finally hit paydirt. Once he had found it, Vincent warned, "I'm gonna toss it to you."

"How am I going to catch it?"

"You don't have to. I have pinpoint accuracy."

"Oh really! I'd like to see you try!"

Vincent let loose, tossing the Ten gil at Sakura. Sure enough, the coin found its mark as it hit Sakura in the chest and fell down her shirt.

"Vinnie, you loser!"

Sakura re-entered the store, but had to dig inside her shirt for the coin in order to pay for Vincent's mistake. If the men in the store weren't drooling before, they were now. Thankfully, the pair of strange friends could jet out of town and toward the coast.

When they had finally reached the land's edge, Sakura asked, "So, what now?"

"I can fly from here."

"Wait! Why couldn't you fly the whole way?"

"Because i'd get tired."

"Whatever. Just don't inhale the air."

"That's kind of hard to do."

Vincent exited the car, and he turned back around to see Sakura smiling.

"You know, Vincent, those first few hours were so boring, but the ending wasn't half bad. Maybe if you and Yuffie get back together, we can all go out some time. The movies, maybe?"

"Maybe. In a perfect world."

"Man, where would we even be in a perfect world? I'm glad this isn't a perfect world."

"Point taken."

RRRRIIIIINNNNGGGG!!!

"Is she actually calling you now?! I'd be ready for an earful, if I were you."

"Hello, Yuffie. It's so nice of you to call on such short notice."

On the other end of the line, Yuffie sounded surprisingly happy. "Oh, you aren't mad?"

"Yuffie, that was sarcasm. I'm itching like crazy, and I need my medicine."

"Oh, I lost it."

"You did what!?"

"Calm it, Vin. That was sarcasm."

"Yuffie, why do you always do this to me? I'm not the enemy, and I don't like being mocked."

"Gawd, chillax, will ya'? You wouldn't believe how much Wutai has grown since we last saw it! There are lights everywhere, and the streets are full. There's all kinds of things to do for fun, and it may be even cooler than Midgar! But I don't like it."

"That doesn't surprise me. You seem calm. Did you inhale the air?"

"So what if I did? It's awesome!"

"Yuffie, do you even know what's in the air right now?"

"_I can feel it in the air tonight!"_

"I'm serious."

"I don't have a clue."

"It's LSD. Reno and Rufus have some stupid idea that making everything peaceful will allow them to take down Elena's parliament. Don't they realize that they will be rendered loopy too? Or maybe they'll fail. I'm sure Elena's smart enough to put on a gas mask."

"LSD, huh? Well, guess what?"

"What?"

"I found my twin today."

"Stay there, and don't move. I'm flying in, and i'll be home in a matter of minutes."

"Vinnie, it's not the air that's got me loopy! She really is here! I can touch her, and she really is my twin! Her name is Kasumi Kisaragi."

"Ha! That's ironic!"

"What are you talking about, Vincent?"

"Kasumi is a Japanese name that means 'mist'. Tell me that's a coincidence."

"Uh. It's a coincidence?"

"Whatever. Just be safe. How's Hunter?"

"He couldn't be better. He's giggling a lot, and almost has a kind of 'spacey' look in his eyes. Well, I need to get off the phone. I told Kasumi that we'd bake cookies together. Gawd, I swear that she's like my identical twin! I love her already."

"Yeah, that's nice. It's just that I..."

"You're tense."

"It's just because I have never been to Wutai before. I know there are a lot of customs that I don't quite understand."

"Don't worry. I'll help you out as much as I can. Hey, I'm trying to teach Kasumi how to speak Japanese. Cool, isn't it?"

"I don't know much myself. All I know is that 'Konnichiha' means 'hello'."

"Then I guess that you don't know any Japanese words."

"Why? What did I do wrong?"

"I hate it when everyone else says that it means 'hello'. It doesn't. It simply means 'good day', and you only use it at around noontime."

"Put Kasumi on the line. I want to see how much you've taught her."

"Okay. Here she is."

"Moshi-Moshi!"

"Um..what?"

"Gomen nasai. I don't know enough words to explain. I just know that Yuffie said that's how you greet someone on the phone."

"Nice. I'll be over in a minute. See you then."

"Oyasuminasai!"

"Oh, and Yuffie, I know that's you. There was no change in the voice. We really need to talk when we get home."

"No, you're mistaken. I'm Kasumi. I'm not Yuffie."

"Someone with the name Kasumi would know Japanese. Sorry, but I don't buy it."

"I am sorry that you feel that way. Goodbye, Mr. Valentine."

Kasumi ended the call, and Vincent looked back at the still-running vehicle that he had rode in. Sakura casually asked Vincent, "What's up?"

"I'll be flying now. But I do have a question."

"Sure. Go ahead."

"Do you think it's possible for someone to be born in an area that speaks Japanese, but then forget so much of it that you can't carry on a conversation?"

"Just look at me. Everybody calls me Sakura, and I'm not Japanese at all. It's a family name. My great-grandparents left Wutai many years ago. Do you know what Sakura means?"

"Cherry blossom."

"Correct."

"But that's not your real name, is it?"

"No. My real name is Tsuyoka. It's not common Japanese, but it's from the dialect that my ancestors spoke."

"I'm not familiar with it."

Sakura smiled as she put the car in reverse and replied, "It means 'strong'."


	8. Who's Your Mistress?

Note: I'm really sorry for not updating Baroquen Heart in so long. My other story, Bleeding Heart, has been so successful, and i've basically been churning out ideas like candy. (Of course, not all of them are posted yet, but at least you won't have to wait long.) I'll admit, I don't have quite as much love for Baroquen Heart as I do Bleeding Heart, but the only reason why is because I think I might have made it a bit too corny by having the 'LSD Air' thing. I'm getting back to the real issues with Yuffie and Vinnie now.

Note 2: I realize that I am not finished with either Baroquen Heart or Bleeding Heart yet, but I would like your input on what kind of path I should take with my next story. Most likely, I may use all of these in the future, but i'd like to know which one you want to see first. I'm going to do one based around a character I haven't written much about yet, so here are the three ideas to choose from:

Idea 1- Sephiroth becomes a regular member of society and gets a job where he works the night shift practically by himself. However, he's not as 'alone' as he thought, because there's always the ghost of Aeris Gainsborough to keep him company.

Idea 2- Aeris Gainsborough has learned how to play the guitar, and is playing folk music at the coffee shops around town. One night, a strange visitor haunts Aeris in her sleep, leaving behind the lyrics to the perfect song. Unfortunately, these lyrics are not to be sung. They are clues to solving the biggest crime in the history of Midgar: The murder of Sarah Shinra, the daughter that President Rufus never knew he had.

Idea 3- The world is spinning out of control, and it all comes to rest on Cid's doorstep. It all starts when Reno and Sakura move in, and then everything goes haywire inside Cid's little cornfield. First, there's the visit by the 'Five Mysterious Maidens'. What could be weirder than five prophetic strangers? How about 'The Plowman', electrical impulses, and the strange cone growing in the field's center? (Every detail is important).

**Chapter 8- Who's Your Mistress?**

"Who's your mistress?"

"I'm not telling you, Yuffie."

"You have to tell me sometime, or I won't open the door!"

"Yuffie, come on. Let me in, please! I'm all itchy!"

"I can keep this up forever. Tell me who she is!"

"...Fine...You're too good for me, Yuffie...."

"...You're lying..."

"...My mistress is Elena..."

"...You're lying. That was too easy! You're just making up something so I'll let you in!"

"Yuffie, if it was Elena, you still wouldn't let me in."

"It's not, is it?"

"No."

"That's what I thought. In fact, I bet you it was probably some chick that I don't even know, right? Uh...Vinnie...are you still out there?"

Yuffie heard a door close behind her, and she realized that Vincent had simply gone through the back entrance.

"Okay, Yuffie. Where's my medicine?"

"It's on the kitchen sink."

___________________________________________

"So, Vinnie, I bet it looked like a giant fungus."

"Don't start with me. It was totally irresponsible to run away like that! You could have gotten hurt, or worse, something could have happened to him!...Wait, why are you looking at me like that?"

"This is Wutai, Vincent."

"So?"

"So you take off your shoes when you go inside. Here, put on these house slippers. It's Japanese tradition."

"Alright."

After Vincent had placed the dark-colored slippers on his feet, he queried, "Did you breathe the air?"

"A little. I think Hunter may have gotten a whiff too."

"Oh. Well, it's not as bad as I first thought. The news reports said that the load of acid that Rufus and Reno dumped was huge, but when it entered the air, it dissipated over the entire atmosphere. Basically, instead of having a small area of people going on a wild trip, we've got the whole world getting a dose that's barely strong enough to do anything."

"That's stupid."

"No...that's Reno."

"...And I've started seeing them."

"Who?"

"The guards, looking for you. They're coming to Wutai. I'd be thankful that the city has grown. At least now you can hide."

"I can't keep hiding when we've got Hunter to take care of!"

"It doesn't seem like you have much of a choice. The Soldier Guards will be in town by tomorrow. People might not know that you're back in town, but they know where you would go if you were."

"So what should we do?"

"Let's find another building. Do you have any acquaintances here?"

"Only one. There's a girl that I knew from my childhood. She owns a private library on the north side of the island, on the outskirts of town. Since it's private, it has huge living quarters for visitors. Maybe she'll let us stay there."

"That's good. Let's pack."

"I haven't unpacked anything."

"Good. We should be ready to go."

"Well, we do have extra space in our luggage. We can take a few things from my house to take with us."

"Like what?"

"My toothbrush."

"You didn't have it with you earlier?!"

"Not that one."

"Why on Gaia's green earth would you need two toothbrushes?"

"Uh...I guess I don't. But I want to take my photo album."

"The one that has all of those hot pregnancy pictures?"

"Vinnie, you're making me blush!"

"I have only eyes for you. You know that."

"Then who is your mistress?"

"I can't tell you."

"Darn it!"

"You know, honestly, I've never had a real tour of this place. Can you show me around?"

"Sure. Follow me."

Vincent followed Yuffie into the kitchen, where he found another set of slippers.

"Okay, Vin. Now you need kitchen slippers."

"You have got to be kidding me."

"No. Not at all. Anyway, this is the kitchen. It's small."

"I see that."

"Let's move on."

"Yuffie, is something bothering you?"

"Yes."

"What is it?"

"Duh."

"What?"

"It's a 'duh' moment. Of course something's bothering me. I've tried to handle things calmly, but you won't tell me who you're sleeping with!"

"She sees you when you're sleeping..."

"...She knows when you're awake?"

"That's right. She knows when you've been bad or good..."

"So you're sleeping with Santa's wife!? What the hell?!"

"No, it's a riddle."

"Oh....I suck at those."

"I know."

"Hey Vinnie..."

"Yes..."

"Do you ever think that maybe it might be in our best interest to let the Guards find us?"

"No. I've never thought that."

"But running was my plan."

"Now it's mine."

"Okay, cool. Follow me...Here's Hunter's bedroom. Put on the baby-room slippers....Here's the bathroom...bathroom slippers...Here's the walk-in closet...closet slippers."

"Good grief, Yuffie! How many different kinds of slippers do you have?!"

Yuffie burst out in laughter, leaving Vincent to wonder, "What's so funny?"

"They're all the same kind of slippers!"

"Like I said, what's so funny?"

"I don't know. Anyway, this is our bedroom...."

"Let me guess. Bedroom slippers."

"No. Take your shoes completely off. You're on holy ground."

"That's cute. I guess you want to save the travel for tomorrow morning."

"I have the clock set for 6 a.m."

"So we need to go sleep."

"No, I never said we had to do that."

"Are you thinking what i'm thinking?"

"Probably not."

"What do you mean?"

"I'm always up for kisses, but you're still all pimply down there! My symptoms are masked now, but you just now took your medicine. It takes time."

"Darn it."

"Tell me who your mistress is!"

"You know her."

"That doesn't help me any."

"You'll find out eventually. But maybe you're asking the wrong question."

"Yeah, that reminds me! Even if you won't tell me who, can you at least tell me why?"

"For the benefit of the Planet."

"Must be important."

"Must be."

"So if the world is coming to an end, you wouldn't tell your wife?"

"I would."

"Then tell me!"

"I'll leave you a clue while you're sleeping."

"Whatever. I guess that's progress."

"Besides, I thought you said that you had a twin here that you were baking cookies with."

"No. I just made that up to sound like I wasn't lonely."

"Well, it's noble of you to own up to it."

"Thank you, Vin.....wait.....Aw Gawd, the cookies!!!"

Yuffie ran into the kitchen as fast as she could, only to come back a minute later with a goofy look on her face.

"Silly me. I never had the stove turned on to start with!"

"Seriously?! You must have inhaled that air with all of your might!"

"Something like that."

"Oh well. Let's get some sleep."

"Yeah. I'm bushed anyway."

Yuffie and Vincent laid their heads down and closed their eyes. They were just about to drift off to sleep....when Hunter started crying.

"Yuffie, can you get that?"

"Why do I have to get it?"

"Because it's your boob that he wants, not mine."

"I swear, I'm keeping him on the bottle for good starting tomorrow."

"...But tonight, you feel like feeding your son the natural way, correct?"

"Sure. I'll give you some too, if you tell me who your mistress is."

"Alright."

"WAIT!!!...wait one blasted second! Are you telling me that out of all of the times I have tried to weasel the truth out of you, my chest is the one thing that will do the trick?...That's perverted!"

"Hey, you offered!"

"...Thinking you would decline it!"

"...Doesn't matter."

"If you insist."

Yuffie left to take care of Hunter. After a few minutes, Hunter quieted down and Yuffie came back into the bedroom with her chest still exposed.

"Alright, Vince. If you absolutely have to...but not the left one. That's Hunter's boob."

As Vincent placed his mouth to Yuffie's chest, she asked, "So, for the final time. Who's your mistress?"

"Aeris Gainsborough."

"WHAT THE HELL??!!"

"Now do you see its importance?"

"No, I don't."

"Believe it or not, I am a legendary being. Within my veins lies a quartet of blood types: human, vampire, mako, and cetra."

"And..."

"And I'm the only person on Earth that fits that category. There's an ancient Cetra parable that says something to the effect of 'The man who has deflowered immortality will be the key to Eden."

"I don't get it."

"Eden. It's from a really old book called the Bible."

"Never heard of it."

"Neither had I, until I researched it. Apparently, Eden was a garden of perfect bliss where all of its inhabitants must live in perfect harmony with the laws of God."

"So it's like, here's utopia, but you better be good or you're out of here? I don't think we could last."

"Trust me, Yuffie. It's a chance worth taking."

"I sure hope you're right."

"I am."

"Well, if you're finished with your bedtime snack, then I'm going to sleep. Goodnight Vince."

"Goodnight, Yuffie."

.......

".....But seriously! Aeris!!??"

"Lovely."

"Necro. Besides, how can you call another woman lovely?"

"Go to sleep."

"Answer me!"

"You're lovelier."

"That's not a word."

"I made it for you."

"Really?"

"Sure, Yuffie. Sure I did."

"Oh. Okay. Night."

"Night."


	9. Growing Up Blind

Note: Sorry I haven't posted in a while. Tuesdays and Thursdays are the days when I have more access to a computer, just so you know.

Note2: This chapter has more twists than a Japanese Rollercoaster. I hope you can keep up.

**Chapter Nine- Growing Up Blind**

Yuffie awoke to the sight of Aeris leading her by the hand into a bright light.

"Aeris?! What's going on?!"

Aeris glowingly smiled back at Yuffie and replied, "Vincent is the key. You'll love Eden, I promise it."

"But what about Hunter?"

"The angels will take perfect care of him."

"No! I want Hunter! I want to see my baby!"

"His young eyes are not ready to behold such beauty and divine temptation. He is resting in the arms of your God, and will be delivered unto you again, should you prove unworthy."

"Why aren't you in Eden, Aeris? You're a Cetra!"

"I was never infused with Mako. My body couldn't handle it."

"I haven't got Mako either!"

"You've been intimate with Vincent...that qualifies."

"I still want my baby!"

"God is taking very good care of him."

"Give me Hunter!"

________________________________________________

Yuffie was dragged into Eden, kicking and screaming. Vincent awaited her entrance under a silver peach tree.

"Yuffie, calm down. It's me, Vincent."

"Vince, *sob*, she took our baby!"

Vincent placed a finger on Yuffie's lips and whispered, "It's alright. He's in better care now."

Yuffie stood to her feet and exclaimed, "Vincent Valentine, nothing is a greater utopia to me than the moments I've shared with Hunter! For all the times that he's kept me up at night crying or spit up on my shirt, I wouldn't trade a thing! You can keep your trees of good and evil, if it means losing the comfort of my newborn son! I will shake my fist at God and invoke all of the wrath he has upon us for just one more day, Vince! One more day! What's so great about Eden anyway?"

Vincent turned his back on Yuffie and walked away.

"Vinnie! Don't walk away when I'm talking to you! Tell me, why were you so obsessed with coming here?"

"Yuffie...just beyond this hill is a sight that I know you're worthy of beholding. I did all of this for you. I was hoping you would like it, but I guess not."

"Wait...now wait, Vin. I see all of the trees, and the flowing rivers of honey, but it still doesn't seem quite like I expected. It's...quiet. Too quiet."

"...No. This is Eden. It's exactly what it's supposed to be. It's just that you're not used to being in an empty world."

"We're not on Gaia anymore, are we?"

"No. This is planet Earth. Welcome to the Middle East."

As Yuffie gazed into the sky, she noticed that there were many beautiful colors in the Eden sunrise. Except for one flaw.

There was a small patch of gray in the corner of her vision.

"Hey, Vinnie, what's that?"

"What's what?"

"That patch of gray up there."

"I don't see it."

"I didn't think you would."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing."

"I'm sorry, I still don't see it, Yuffie."

"Oh. Uh, I'm gonna get a closer look at it."

"No, Yuffie. It's nothing, trust me."

"Wow, Vince. You're getting defensive. You're not hiding something, are you?"

"Of course not. I just got here."

"If you say so. Hey, how's a girl supposed to get some food around here?"

"It's fruit and vegetables from here on."

"You've got to be kidding me! Are there any other rules I should know about?"

"The clothes."

Shocked, Yuffie stammered, "But I...I...no, n-no. I...I think I like my clothes on much better."

"But it's a rule. See, I'll do it."

Vincent stripped in the presence of his wife, but Yuffie was a bit more hesitant.

"But isn't Eden supposed to be ruled by some supreme creator?"

"I thought so. I'll admit, it is odd that we haven't heard a booming voice coming from somewhere."

"Well...only since you did, too."

Yuffie followed suit and stripped as well.

"Great, so now we're naked in an apple farm! Sounds rustic, doesn't it?"

"Yuffie...you're so funny!"

"...And there's a breeze in here. It feels good!"

"How do you like Eden now?"

"If this is Eden, where is God?"

"I told you, Yuffie. I don't know."

_______________________________________________

The concept of being bare was one that Yuffie Kisaragi was not used to. In fact, she was hesitant to get too close to Vincent, even though they were married. After their first conversation in Eden, Vincent had decided to take a look around, while Yuffie wanted to investigate the mysterious gray area in further detail.

As Yuffie got closer to the oddity, she could see that it was not part of the skyline at all. It definitely seemed as if she was getting closer to it. Finally, Yuffie located the source of the gray area. It was located directly above her head, but there was no way that Yuffie could reach that high. All she could do was simply stare at it. Yuffie stared at the gray blob for at least two or three minutes, until everything faded away into nothingness. It was then that she realized, this was no dull splotch of gray paint. It was a fierce beam of gray light.

When she turned around, everything was dark. Yuffie had been blinded by the light.

"Vincent! Where are you?! I can't see a thing! The grayness is light! Vincent, please help!"

After a few minutes of rolling around helplessly on the ground, Yuffie could hear the pitter-patter of barefeet running across the land. She could feel a hand reach down and lift her up, but when Yuffie queried, "Is that you, Vincent?", she received a shocking answer, "No. My name is Eve. What are you doing in the garden!?"

"My husband brought me here! It's all his fault!"

"What are you talking about? There's not supposed to be anyone here except for me and Adam! Oh, man! If Adam finds out that there's another woman here...no! I have to hide you! It's the only way!"

"But if Adam would want me that bad, we'd get kicked out of here!"

"Exactly! I'm going to carry you into a cave, and I'll..."

"Wait one minute!", Yuffie exclaimed. "How is hiding me going to help? I'll still be here! And where's Vincent?!"

"Vincent is not here. He's never been here. You're the first human to enter the garden on your own."

"You're lying!"

Across the hills, Yuffie and Eve could hear Adam calling, "Eve? Where did you go?"

Eve rushed Yuffie into a cave, whispering in the blind ninja's ear, "You have to be cooperative, or it won't work. You're doing a very good job so far, so let's keep it up."

"What are you talking about?"

"Shhh...not so loud. Adam will hear us!"

Gullible Yuffie did as she was told. She kept quiet, blind to the sights of the artificial garden...blind to the recognition that Adam and Eve were actually Reno and Sakura...blind to the knowledge that Hunter was in good care behind a soundproof view screen with Vincent...blind to the sound of Vincent conversing with the dark doctor, Hojo.

* * *

"Thank you Vincent, for the fine specimen."

"I'm glad to help a fellow ShinRa employee...what kind of experiment was this again?"

"The Wolf Project. It will test the condition of the human mind after being lied to multiple times by multiple people. Her head will be spinning faster than a top!"

"What's the science behind it?"

"Elena wants to know the limits."

"The limits of what?"

"The limits of brainwashing.....I am surprised that you would accept my deal. I know that you loved her very much."

"I never really liked Yuffie..." Vincent stared deeply into the eyes of his son and said, "...But I love what she can produce. Are you sure that it's perfected now?"

"Yes. For the first time in the modern history of man, there are no longer any bugs in the process. Finally, my quest to create the perfect soldier will be a success! And in return, you will be compensated nicely."

"How long will it last?"

"As long as you want it to."

"Good...because I want it stopped now! Hojo, you're under arrest for unlawful experimentation on another human being."

"You can't arrest me! You're not a cop!"

"No, but a Turk has that power also. Remember, anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to an attorney. If you cannot afford an attorney, then you're just screwed. So let's get a move-on."

"But my plan was fool-proof!"

"Apparently not."

_______________________________________

As Professor Hojo was being hauled off to jail by Reno, Vincent lifted Yuffie from the cave floor and said, "We got him, Yuffie! We caught Hojo!"

"At the cost of my eyesight!"

"Don't worry, Yuffie. It should come back in a day or so. I've got Hunter right here, and I'll lead you home."

"Thanks, Vinnie. You're the best."

_______________________________________

Four days later, Yuffie was still firmly grounded in darkness.


	10. Seeing with ears

* * *

Note: Thanks to all of the people that have been reading this story. It shouldn't last too much longer, but my mind is already buzzing with new ideas about what to do for the next few stories in this series. Whatever I pick, you know it's going to be good.

**Chapter 10- To see with ears**

It was the sound of a distant rooster that shook Yuffie from sleep. Vincent didn't stir. The young ninja was very thankful that her ears had seemingly made up for the new deficiency in her eyes.

She couldn't blame Vince. His plan, however risky and stupid it may have been, helped to capture the evil Professor Hojo. In the glittering spiral recesses of Yuffie's mind, her blindness was reckoned unto Vincent as sacrifice. Besides, she wouldn't give up these sounds for anything in the world.

Yuffie might not have been able to tell exactly where to walk, but various sounds of the floorboards, formerly neglected, were now acting as an alert to her, so that she wouldn't trip or run into something. Surprisingly enough, Yuffie almost liked her life as a blind person almost as much as her old life. Of course, it's the same life, now isn't it?

There were sounds of birds chirping outside her window, as if singing to soothe her mood. Yuffie's child, Hunter, was a constant sound as well. When she held the baby boy, Yuffie could sense that Hunter seemed to realize what was going on. In every differing movement, she could almost feel Hunter saying subconsciously, "Something's different, mommy!" Yuffie was constantly learning the lesson of how much things can change in so little time. Yuffie's blindness gave her more free time than ever before to play with Hunter, and to learn how to become a better mother for her child. Just a few weeks ago, Yuffie would have questioned her parenting skills. Now, she had a deeply rooted feeling that she was the perfect woman for the job.

But of course, the best sound in the world was the approach of those pointed black shoes. In the days since Hojo's arrest, Yuffie had begun to memorize many sounds. The tone of Vincent's footsteps was not one of them. That detail had already been etched into her mind. The deepest parts of Yuffie's psyche leaped with joy whenever she heard those black boots hit the floor, saying 'Here he comes with my heart!'

Tonight was one of those nights. Yuffie had not heard any clues as to where Hunter was, and she was getting worried until she heard the steps of her husband's feet.

"Vince, where's Hunter?"

"Your father is babysitting him tonight."

"Why? Are we going somewhere? I'm still not too experienced at letting someone lead me by the hand everywhere."

"Then this is a great learning opportunity."

"Where are we going?"

"You'll see. It's a surprise."

Yuffie distinctly heard the sound of the front door opening and closing as Vincent led her through it. She heard the crunch of leaves underneath her feet. After Vincent had instructed Yuffie to bend down and sit, she heard the sound of a car door slamming. Vinnie helped his wife with her seatbelt as he cranked the engine.

"You know, Vin, there's still something that's been bothering me about that whole 'Eden' mess. Why was Aeris there?"

"Yuffie, what are you talking about?"

"You said that Aeris was the key to Eden, and then she carried me into the garden."

"Yuffie, I made that up. Aeris didn't do anything. Well, there was that odd scene at the convenience store, but…"

"But what? I know I saw Aeris that day. I heard her voice."

"But it was all a clever trick. There was nothing supernatural about it, because there was no real garden. It was an old pasture with trees."

"I know I saw her. I tore a small piece of dress. I have it in one of my pockets."

Yuffie pulled out the shred of cloth and showed it to Vincent.

"Maybe she's just helping."

"But why? I didn't need help. And she didn't seem helpful!"

"We'll worry about that later. For now, your surprise awaits!"

* * *

From the moment Yuffie stepped through the door of the building, she could smell food. There was also a fairly loud sound of something burning…no, more like something frying.

As Vincent led her into the room, Yuffie could no longer mistake that smell.

"Yuffie, do you know what this is?"

"It's a good old fashioned fish fry…for you."

Vincent walked Yuffie through the line of food, helping her get what she wanted onto the plate. After eating their meal, Vincent guided Yuffie up to the front of the room. Somehow, she could feel all of the eyes of many people looking at her. It was Vincent that explained everything.

"Yuffie, the nice people of Wutai have put together this fish fry benefit for you. Try and guess how many people are here."

"I don't know. A lot?"

"Thousands, Yuffie. So many, I can't even count them all. You see, this is the new town square, holding up to ten-thousand people. As a member of Wutai in its younger years, you've grown quite a following here, haven't you? These kind people have raised $10,000 for you, Yuffie."

Overcome with shock, she placed her hands over her mouth and started to cry.

"Vincent, what am I going to spend all of this money on?"

"That's easy. It's to be given to the Wutai Eye Care Center. Yuffie, these generous people of Wutai have paid every cent for a new Eye Correction Laser Surgery."

"Oh my Gawd! You're getting my sight back!"

"Yes, Yuffie. You're going to see again!"

"Wow! Aw Gawd, thanks everybody!!!"

The room thundered with applause.

"But that's not all."

"What else?"

"Since we have captured Hojo, you have been granted a pardon! You're no longer a wanted criminal!"

Yuffie couldn't help herself. She knelt on her knees and wept openly. It was the greatest single moment of her young life.


	11. Skilled Beyond All Common Sense

Note: If you sense any bit of angst or the like in this chapter or the previous chapter of Bleeding Heart, then the reason is simple: There's a big virus going around at the College, and it's one of those that keep replicating itself through USB Drives. It's very annoying, when you have to use USB Drives to do your schoolwork.

But that's not the worst part. Guess who is one of the Senior-year Computer students who is saddled with the angst of fighting this raging monster? You guessed it: me.

Never have I felt such a sense of hatred and admiration at the same time.

If you're a computer user where I'm from, then it's a bad day for you.

If you're the one making the Virus, then your efforts are to be praised. You really made an evil one this time.

**Chapter 11- Skilled Beyond All Common Sense**

"Vincent, why do people have to do experiments that ruin our lives?"

"I don't know, Yuffie. I guess they 'Just have to know'. Why?"

"Did Hojo ever come to Wutai?"

"A long time ago. Hojo hasn't been to Wutai since the days when he was an assistant to Professor Gast."

"So, if there were any weird experiments going on, it would be for good?"

"I guess."

"I guess!? Why didn't you say something like 'It'll be alright' or 'Don't worry about it'?"

"Whoa! Calm down, Yuf!

"Okay. Fine."

"Come. It's time for your surgery."

* * *

The Valentines were all smiles as they entered the Eye Clinic and Yuffie Kisaragi was placed onto a table in preparation of her surgery. Everything was good to go. Yuffie was ready, and the machine was setting up…

Until…

'Warning! Laser settings not sufficient to work on patient. Error 103: Not Human Eye.'

When the machine had finished spouting its error message out loud, Yuffie exclaimed, "What the hell? Not human eye?! Aw Gawd, I'm gonna die!"

"Calm down! The doctor will take care of it. It's probably just a system malfunction, right Doc?"

"Actually, no. These systems don't usually have malfunctions."

"Meaning what?!"

"Meaning that your wife does not have a human eye. Wait one second."

The Doctor typed away at his computer. He had an awful habit of 'announcing' everything that he was doing.

"Okay. Yuffie, I need you to lay flat. Laser, scan for eye type."

'Eye type: Partially Robotic'

This time, Yuffie shot up at attention.

"WHAT?! VINNIE!? What did you do to me?!"

"I didn't do anything, but I think I know who might have. Have you ever had a real examination by a Doctor before?"

"No. I mean, I go to the gynecologist a lot, but I'm scared of real doctors."

"I see. Then it's a possibility…You might be right…about the experiments. It would be for good, of course, like we said. Doctor, do your computers have fingerprint sensors attached?"

"Yes. That's our form of security."

"Good. Yuffie, put your hand on this pad."

As Yuffie placed her hand onto the fingerprint pad, she was amazed to hear what the computer said next.

'Welcome, Yuffie Kisaragi! Initializing file . Startup successful!'

"So I'm a robot?! Cool!!"

"Wait, Yuffie…it's not done."

'Automatic procedure EyeRestore initiated. EyeRestore successful!'

"Aw my Gawd! Yes! Yes! Vinnie, I can see!"

"That's great Yuffie! That's just…"

The siren interrupted him.

'Warning! Virus infection! Infected file: . Infection could not be healed.'

Yuffie shrugged her shoulders and said, "Well, we already knew that. Maybe you can get rid of it!"

"We'll try. Doc, try locating this file."

"Alright…found it. Right-Click, Delete."

'File cannot be deleted. It is in use by another program. Please terminate file and reboot.'

Yuffie jumped off of her seat and yelled, "Don't hit yes! Don't do it!"

"Oops, too late!"

"WHAT!?"

"No, Yuffie! We're just kidding."

Yuffie grew very red in the face, and she began to ball up her fists. Once she had reached the breaking point, she kicked Vincent with extreme force…between the legs.

Vince rolled around on the floor for a few minutes before the pain finally subsided.

"You can't kid about serious stuff, Vin! Isn't there a different way to get rid of the file?"

"Not really."

"Then just try again."

"Okay. Right-Click, Delete."

' has been deleted.'

Yuffie began jumping around the room yelling, "Yay! Yay! It's gone! It's finally gone!"

"Let's check it again to make sure."

"Fine. Scan hard drive."

'Warning! Virus infection! Infected file: . Infection could not be healed.'

"WHAT?!"

Vincent bowed his head and muttered, "Damn it. It's a replicating file. Doc, can we try to see where this thing is coming from?"

"That's easy. It's located inside the folder labeled Reproductive System."

"Alright. Scan that."

"Begin scan."

Behind him, Vincent could hear Yuffie begin to squeal and let out a few low moans.

"Ooh…It's scanning, alright!"

"Interesting."

'Scan complete. No threats found.'

"No threats! Hah! That's a laugh. Darn selective, isn't it? I guess you're stuck with it, Yuffie."

"Oh well. It's nothing new. This robot thing is cool to me. And I can see! Don't forget that!"

"Yeah. Let's go."

As the couple turned to leave, the Doctor queried, "Aren't you going to pay me?"

Vincent countered, "For what? I fixed her, not your machine."

"You used my computer."

"Oh. Here's a 50…"

"Thanks."

"…and a breath mint, and a small ball of pocket lint."

"No, that's quite alright."

"What, you don't want the 50?"

"No…Yes…just go."

Yuffie stared up at Vincent and asked, "Where are we going now?"

"Christmas shopping, and a fine restaurant."

"Where did you get all of this money?"

"It's the reward for capturing Hojo."

"Oh. Thanks for that."

"You're welcome."

* * *

Yuffie and Vincent had completed their shopping, and were on their way to a Chinese restaurant when they happened to see a group of young carolers on the side of the street.

"Hey, Yuf. What's your favorite Christmas carol?"

"I like those funny parodies that comedians do."

"Like what?"

"O Holy Crap, Virus Night, God Rest Ye Fairy Nederland, O Come All Ye Faithless. Stuff like that."

"Now that's funny!"

"I'm glad you like them. I've got the CD at home."

"Cool. How does Chinese food sound?"

"Sure. Hey, do you think that I have secret robot powers?"

"No, I don't."

"Then what's the purpose of experimenting on me?"

"All I have to do is log in to a computer with my Turk authentication, and they'll know. They keep good records."

"You can use my new phone."

When Vincent had logged in and accessed the case file, he instantly closed his eyes and whispered softly:

"After supper, we're going to visit your father."

"Of course. It'll be the first time you've ever seen him."

"When was the last time you visited him, Yuffie?"

"A couple of years."

"Why did you wait so long."

"Just 'cause."

"What about your mother?"

"I don't wanna talk about it."

"After all of these years?"

"I'm Japanese. I hold grudges."

"But I thought everybody did that."

"It's just a visit. You don't have to act like Sherlock Holmes and solve every mystery."

"But you'd appreciate it if I do…"

"Maybe, I don't know."

"If you're going to go prying around, don't let me know."

"You're my wife. I shouldn't have to pry around."

"Usually…but I'm Yuffie Kisaragi."

"And I'm Vincent Valentine."

"I see that."

"I'm thankful."

"Then that makes two of us."

"Are you really?"

"Really what?"

"Yuffie, are you really thankful for your father?"

Yuffie threw her hands up in the air and said, "Fine. I give you permission to snoop around. Is that what you want?"

"No. I want honesty."

"Vince, when you've got love, who needs honesty?"

"Well, it is one of the Top Ten."

"What top ten?"

"Ten Commandments."

"Vince…I'm not Christian. I'm a Spiritualist."

"Okay."

"Aw, let's stop arguing, Vince. Let's go eat."

"For you, of course."

"You really do love me with your whole heart, don't you?"

"And my hands."

"That's a list that could keep going on forever. You love me with your whole body then, don't you?"

"What about the soul?"

"Ah, I see! Infinity, then!"

"Maybe not that much."

"Hey!"

"Don't worry. You're alright, kid. You're quite alright."

"Good…but I'm not a kid."

"You know what I mean. Do you like being difficult?"

"I love it."

"And it loves you back."

"Um…okay."

"Do you want to sing?"

"Sure."

'Virus night, holey night. All is gone, out of sight. Found one problem, into the file. In an instant, I format your drive. Link to every PC…Link to every PC!"


	12. The Expecting Confessor

Note: This chapter is a Christmas present to all of my readers. Happy Holidays, everyone.

**Chapter 12- The Expecting Confessor**

Yuffie's childhood home was one of the few things in Wutai that hadn't changed much. The quaint Japanese-style building had a curved green roof and several ornaments standing guard on the outside of the house. Snow had dusted the doorstep, and Yuffie could hear the crunch of flakes under her feet as she approached the door.

Vincent was behind her, carrying Hunter.

The door knocker was small, yet thick enough to make a deep sound as Yuffie entreated entrance. Vince could sense a bit of hesitation in Yuffie's demeanor.

"Don't worry. This is family. It'll be alright."

"Thanks, Vin."

As the door opened, an old man peered through the crack. When Yuffie's father caught a glimpse of the new family that he had not seen together before, he opened the door all the way and happily exclaimed, "Oh, Yuffie! I haven't seen you in forever! It's been so lonely here for all of these years!"

Yuffie embraced her father in a tight hug and queried, "Can we come in?"

"Of course."

Yuffie, Vincent, and Hunter entered the house and removed their jackets. Upon close examination, Yuffie realized that the inside of the house had remained unchanged as well. The family sat down on a huge green couch in the living room.

"So, Yuffie..."

"Yes, father?"

"I don't believe that I've met these two."

"This is my husband, Vincent, and our son, Hunter."

"You've married!? And I'm a...grandfather!? Goodness, I'm so behind!"

"That's alright, Dad. I'm sorry, but there really wasn't a way of contacting you."

"I know. I hate phones. But you're here now! How long are you staying?"

"I...um...I haven't thought about it."

Vincent spoke up and answered, "There's nothing stopping us from living here for a long time."

Yuffie's father smiled at Vincent and replied, "My, you're a fetching fellow. I can see why my Yuffie has taken a liking to you."

"Thank you...Dad."

"And let me see the little one."

Vincent handed Hunter over to Yuffie's father, and from the moment that the transfer occured, Hunter grinned and made pleasant giggling noises. Yuffie brushed her hair out of her eyes and mentioned, "He likes you. I guessed that he would."

"Oh, if only I had been there."

"No, father. We should have been here in Wutai. But it's not too late. You haven't missed everything."

Yuffie cast her gaze on Vincent, who appeared clueless. Not even he knew what Yuffie was speaking of.

"I'm so excited! Dad, me and Vincent are having another baby!"

"Oh, that's wonderful!"

Vincent hugged Yuffie and whispered in her ear, "You're like a little rabbit, aren't you?"

She whispered back, "Birthing your children is my greatest accomplishment."

Yuffie's father faintly overheard them, and said, "Ah, to be in love! I remember my first time. We were 16, and her name was Ichiya. She really wasn't more than a plain farmgirl, and I suppose she was more like a sister to me than anything."

"Yuffie, does he always tell old stories like this?", Vincent interrupted. Yuffie laughed and said, "Most of the time, yes. But I don't think I've heard this story before. What happened to her?"

"She was taken right from out of my hands. There was a rich soldier that came back home from the Great War. His name was Yamasto, and he lusted after Ichiya. All he had to do was wave his money around, and a wedding was arranged against Ichiya's wishes. I never heard of her after that."

Vincent continued, "My first experience was back when I was 16. Her name was Ayasaki. Ayasaki was extremely tall, at least six and a half feet by the age of 16, if not more! She started playing basketball, and after graduation, she went to play for a basketball league in Russia."

"Where's that?", Yuffie asked.

"Outside of Gaia. It's very far away."

"Well, my first boyfriend was named Tsuyoka. I had a crush on him, but it didn't work out. I caught him making eyes at another girl, so I snapped all of his crayons."

"When was this?"

"Kindergarten."

Vincent started to giggle, but Yuffie insisted, "It's not funny! Most girls do start earlier than boys!"

"Yes, but it's still funny."

"I guess I was just advanced."

Hearing Yuffie speak the word 'Advanced' brought a slight smirk to her father's face that the two lovers noticed instantly. Yuffie was the first to mention it.

"Dad, what happened when I was born?"

"What do you mean?"

"You used to tell me that everything happened like normal. I know that I'm partially robotic. How could you say that everything was normal?!"

"Yuffie, I'm sorry I never told you. When you were born, your mother was very weak. She'd had an illness and didn't make it through the delivery. Yuffie, you did something that the doctors had never seen in their lives. Though your mother was dead, you still had enough strength and willpower to be born. The doc said it was because of post-mortem muscle contractions, but I know the truth. You've always been independent, and that day was no different. It was as if you were determined to escape from the darkness into the light.

The problem was, you were a whole month premature. Even with your will to see the lights of Earth, you were still very tiny and vulnerable. Yuffie, you were so small, I could hold you in my palm. The doctors said you wouldn't last the night. I knew you were a born fighter, but I couldn't risk it.

You see, ShinRa was visiting Wutai for the first time. No one knew they were planning a takeover. I knew they could help you, so I got Professor Gast to do an experiment on you.

Yuffie, you are the only human on Gaia to have a robotic backup system. If you were to die, then it would bring you back to life. It was only activated to work twice."

"But Dad, I think it may have already activated twice!"

"I know it activated that first night at the hospital, but when did you 'die' again?"

"When I was pregnant the first time, I fell. I think the backup system was used to save Hunter!"

"Then you're fully mortal now."

"I guess so."

Yuffie looked over to see Vincent whispering to Hunter, "You're lucky, aren't you? You're our lucky charm, Hunter."

Yuffie was happy to have a loving husband, and she was smiling as she patted her belly. It hadn't grown much yet, but her admiration for her family had.


	13. I Only Want What I Can't Have

Note: I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but there will only be two more chapters after this one. I have a great idea for my next story, and I need to wind this one down. The only thing in the way of Vincent and Yuffie 'living happily ever after' is the birth of her second child, so I'll get through that and leave it be. My other story, Bleeding Heart, will have plenty of chapters to go, but I am starting on a plot twist that will bring the story to its eventual end. (Which is where Psych Heart begins.)

Sometimes I do wonder why this good 'romantic' story between Yuffie and Vincent can get only 700 hits and 20 reviews while my 'tell-all' autobiography of Tifa's sordid life gets 5600 hits and 50 reviews. Either way, I have enjoyed this story. Whereas Bleeding Heart is an exercise in sorrow and horrible decisions, Baroquen Heart has allowed me to showcase more of my humor. It wasn't as much of a success as my other stories, but I did enjoy this one.

**Chapter 13- I only want what I can't have**

As the first half of Yuffie's pregnancy flew by like sand in an hourglass, one thing became apparent: The two lovers needed a maid. With Vincent busy at work and Yuffie focused on Hunter, the couple placed advertisements in the local newspaper for a maid to do some chores and cleaning around the house.

Unfortunately, only one person sent in an application for the job. When Vincent scanned the application the first time, he saw that the lady's name was Jaynie. He hadn't yet made the connection in his mind by the time that she appeared in person for the interview.

When Jaynie entered the room, Vincent instantly spotted the needle marks on her arms and exclaimed, "Oh God! You're that woman from the convenience store!"

"In the flesh."

"I see you've added a few tattoos since the last time I saw you."

"…sure did."

Yuffie turned to Vince and queried, "Do you know this person?"

"Unfortunately, yes."

Vincent fiddled around with some of the papers in front of him before speaking.

"It says here that you have a criminal record."

"Yeah…breaking and entering, cocaine possession, assault, indecent exposure. You name it, I've done it…ten years ago. That record is so old. I've changed now. I'm a new woman."

"I see. It does say here that you have been drug free for 8 years."

"That's right. I do have prior experience at being a maid, from before I owned the store."

"I see that. You were a maid for 3 years. Impressive. Was that all with one family?"

"It sure was."

Yuffie tugged on Vincent's sleeve and whispered, "She's freaky!"

"Yes, but she's changed. She's all we've got."

"Jaynie, you're hired!"

"Oh, thank you! You won't regret it! I'll be the best maid ever, I promise!"

Vincent turned to Yuffie and said, "See? That went well."

Yuffie simply rolled her eyes.

* * *

At approximately 2:00 P.M., Yuffie was sitting on the couch, trying to read. Her pregnant belly wasn't huge yet, but it was big enough that Yuffie had to rest her book on top of it in order to read.

"Vince, I feel like a bloated whale that swallowed a mutant cow that ate one of those snakes that gulped a rat down whole."

"Wow, that's descriptive. You're only 6 months through. At the worst, you only look like you've swallowed a basketball."

"That's not entirely helpful. Anyway, I'm having a weird craving."

"But we just ate supper."

"I know. I'm still hungry for something that you're going to have to drive out and get."

"What's that?"

"Chocolate-Covered Chicken!"

"Yuffie, how is that even remotely healthy?"

"I don't care! I need it!!!"

"Alright! Fine."

* * *

Vince decided that the best place to start on his search for chocolate chicken would be McDonald's.

"Excuse me. Can I get some chocolate-covered chicken?"

The blonde-haired teenage girl behind the register began to chuckle. "You're kidding, right?"

Vincent stood silently with his eyes piercing into the register.

"Oh God, you're serious! Well, I guess we could run the chicken under the ice cream maker-thingy, but it's broken right now. Billy should be in any minute to deliver the part that we need to fix it."

As soon as the cashier had spoken, another employee came up behind her and corrected, "Actually, Billy quit this morning. We still need somebody to get that piece."

"Why are you telling me this?"

"Because we're all busy working."

"Oh."

The cashier kindly turned back around to Vincent and asked, "Would you be so kind as to run out and get this part for the ice cream machine? I promise that if you do this for us, you can have your meal for free."

"Why can't you guys get the part?"

"We're busy."

"What about the owner?"

Upon mention of the owner, the cashier turned around to her other co-workers and asked, "Do we have an owner?"

A voice to her left exclaimed, "I don't know! I've never seen him!"

Another voice in the back said, "I heard a rumor that we don't have an owner, and that somebody's placed an old mop in the owner's chair just to occupy it."

Vincent copied down the address of the repair shop and turned to leave.

* * *

"Sir, do you have a red valve for an Ice Cream Machine?"

The old man behind the desk looked visibly confused. "A red valve? Can you be a bit more specific? I don't know which part you're referring to."

"I have a sketch of it on this paper."

The cashier looked at it for a moment and said, "Kid, that's what almost all the valves look like in this place. I'm gonna need more detail. Now if you go to the library, I know that you can find a book that will help you."

"Alright."

* * *

When Vincent arrived at the library, the doors were locked. Apparently, the workers were on their hour-long lunch break, and there was nobody to cover the main desk. It was for the best anyway. Vincent's gas tank was running low.

By this time, Vincent had become very agitated and fidgety. It didn't exactly help that his car's engine started blowing smoke as he pulled into the gas station. Next stop: Autozone.

* * *

"I'm looking for an engine that will fit a 2004 Mitsubishi Spyder."

"Alright. That'll be $100."

"Uh…I don't have that much. I only have $90 on me right now."

"Oh. Well, I'll make you a deal. I'll shave ten bucks off the price if you walk down to the store and buy me a pack of cigarettes."

"Fine."

* * *

Great. Another naïve cashier.

"Sir, I'm going to have to see some ID."

"What!? Do I look 17 to you?"

"Sorry. I still need to see some ID."

When Vincent fumbled around with his wallet, he noticed something: his ID was missing. That meant something more horrible than all of these errands combined: Waiting in line at the DMV.

* * *

"So you need a new picture ID made, eh?"

"I guess so. You know, it took me 2 hours to get through that line. 2 hours!!!"

"I know. We've really increased our productivity. It used to be a 3 hour wait! Look at the plaque."

Behind the officer was a plaque that stated, 'We've really increased our productivity. It used to be a 3 hour wait!'

"Okay, say cheese!"

"Cheese!"

* * *

So Vincent had his ID. He took it to the store and bought the cigarettes. He went to the auto store and bought the engine. He popped the hood and….

RING!!!!

It was Yuffie on the phone.

"Hey, Vince! What's taking you so long?! It's 5 o'clock already! Is it that hard?"

"No. I'm almost done, I promise. I'll be home in time for supper."

"You better be."

Vincent placed his cellphone in his pocket and got to work installing the engine. That in itself took 40 minutes.

After the car started working, Vince took it to get some gas. He then headed to the library, where it took him another 20 minutes to research the part he needed.

* * *

"I found out what it is. It's a bolt-conductor cream valve."

"Okay. Here you go. That'll be $1."

* * *

"It's about time. You took long enough."

"Whatever here's your valve."

"Thank you."

The cashier placed the part in the machine, and it fit like a glove. She then placed the chicken under the ice cream machine and started pouring.

Needless to say, it looked like crap.

"Do you want fries with that?"

"Sure."

* * *

When Vincent got home, the first thing that he saw made him very aggravated. Jaynie was in the kitchen, eating chocolate-covered chicken.

"Where did you get that!?"

"I made it. I have a homemade recipe. Didn't you know?"

"I hate my life."

* * *

When Vincent placed the meal in front of Yuffie, she replied, "Took you long enough."

"Sorry."

Yuffie then proceeded to gulp down the fries like a madman, and she ignored the chicken entirely.

"Are you not going to eat your chicken?"

"No. I don't want it anymore."

"That figures."


	14. Missing: Sanity

Note: Only one more chapter after this one. I promise that I will….not finish this tale within the bounds of this story. There will be a ficlet about Yuffie after this one, perhaps only 6 or so chapters long. It will be called 'Beating Heart', and I have to warn you: It will be rated M, and deservedly so. (Sexual Content)…

…but as for what it is really about, I can't tell you yet. Read on, and you may be able to figure it out.

Also, if Yuffie seems more than a little out of it in these last two chapters, it's because she is. After all, she would never agree to 'The Plan' when she's of a sound mind.

Chapter 14- Missing: Sanity. If found, please contact Yuffie

The eighth month of Yuffie's second pregnancy marked the beginning of the repetitive days in for the Valentine family. Everything in the feisty ninja's daily routine was becoming drab and boring.

There was always the once-a-day Herpes pill. Breakfast couldn't be forgotten: bran flakes and toast. Vincent had to leave for work, if you can call bounty hunting 'typical work'. And of course, Yuffie stayed at home with Hunter, watching TV and herself, as if she could see her belly growing before here eyes.  
Lunch followed, along with Hunter's play time and nap.

By the time Vincent arrived home from work, Yuffie had done some serious thinking.  
"Vincent, I've done some serious thinking."  
"About what?"  
"I need a job. One where I can work from home."  
"That sounds reasonable."  
"I was thinking about becoming a full-time novelist, just like Tifa!"

As Vincent scanned the mail that had arrived that morning, he casually replied, "If you get famous, you won't be home for too long."  
"You mean for stuff like book signings and interviews? That's what babysitters are for."  
"But I…"  
"Vince, you're afraid to leave Hunter with a babysitter, aren't you?"  
"And you aren't?"  
"Yeah, but sometimes you have to take that chance. Anyway, I won't have to write too much to finish my first book."

Vincent looked up and pointed to a closet in the corner.  
"Well, you do have that one in the closet that you never finished. I forget, what was it?"  
"Which one? I was thinking about finishing that short story, 'The Problem With Emily'. You know, the one about the girl who's addicted to pinball machines?"  
"Maybe, but short stories don't sell well individually. What else do you have?"

Yuffie placed her finger on her lips and thought for a while.  
"I have 'Across Route Nine'."  
"The one about the penguin crossing the road? Not commercial enough."  
"But you said that you liked it."  
"I'm not your average reader. What about that one you did finish: 'Burlesque'?"

Yuffie shifted her weight on the couch so that she could place her hands on her hips while replying, "Vincent, that was a novel meant for our eyes only. It was simplistic…over the top…unacceptable!"  
"I know. It was very explicit, but it's the best thing you've ever written. The market for this kind of stuff is growing fast."  
"Do you really think so? You know that once I send this in, that's the genre I'll probably be stuck in for life."  
"I'm fine with that."  
"Of course you are. You're my inspiration."  
"Thank you. Oh, and Yuffie…"  
"Yes…"  
"What are we having for supper?"

Yuffie pointed to the back door and continued, "It's starting to warm up outside, so I was thinking you could put some burgers on the grill, and some corn too. I like grilled corn."  
"Okay. I'll get it started then."  
"You do that."

"Yuffie, is there something else on your mind?"  
"Yeah. I want to do something crazy for this second pregnancy."  
"What do you mean?"  
"I'm talking about the labor process. I want to do that thing where they put you in the little pool."  
"You want to give birth in the water? Sounds great. No complaints here."  
"I thought you'd say that."

Yuffie sighed deeply as she sat on the couch. Between the scared look on her face and the timid way in which she patted her belly, Yuffie definitely seemed like she was hiding a secret.

"Vince, if I was keeping a secret, would you still love me?"  
"Of course, Yuffie. I could never stay mad at you. You look so cute when you're expecting."

Vincent's loving words brought a smile to Yuffie's face, so she continued, "Yep. I'm pregnant."  
"You're with child."  
"I've got a bun in the oven."  
"You're preggers."  
"I've got a voluptuous baby bump."  
"You're knocked up."  
"I'm in the family way."  
"You're eating for two."  
"…Or three."  
"…Or four."  
"...Yes, four, because we're like little rabbits, aren't we?"  
"We sure are."

"You really know how to turn a man on, Yuffie."  
"I…"

Yuffie's face instantly grimaced.  
"Ow! Oh…no worries. It just kicked, really hard. That hurt!"  
"Well, Yuf, I wouldn't be surprised. You're beautifully enormous!"  
"Seriously though, Vin, what do I look like?"  
"You look like you a swallowed a beach ball. Are you sure that you want to be surprised when it comes? You could very well be having more than one!"  
"I'm proud of it", Yuffie replied half-heartedly.

"You said that you had a secret."  
"I do."  
"What is it?"  
"I can't tell you all."  
"Then tell me half."  
"One light: Stay. Two lights: Go."  
"Um…okay. I'm confused."  
"I'll explain later. I don't know when it's going to happen, but when it does, you have to promise that you and Jaynie will take good care of Hunter."  
"Okay, Yuffie…now you're scaring me."  
"How scared?"  
"If it's as bad as I think it is, I may cry."  
"It's worse."  
"How bad?"  
"So horribly bad, you'd probably piss your pants."  
"Oh God, Yuffie! What is it?"

"Look at me, Vince. I'm unthinkably big, and I'm smiling. I've been told that there will be exotic drinks where I'm going…where they're taking me. Do you like exotic drinks? I do."

Vincent snapped his fingers in front of Yuffie's distantly staring eyes. "Stay with me, Yuffie! Don't blank out on me now!"  
"…And there's gonna be cake and candy. Lots and lots of candy where he'll take me."

Vincent slapped Yuffie's cheek, jarring her back into full consciousness.  
"Ow! Hey! What was that for?"  
"You were talking nonsense about someone taking you somewhere."  
"Oh. What did I say?"  
"That there will be exotic drinks and candy. Where is it that you're going, and who's taking you?"

"I don't know who, and I don't know where. I don't know if I'll be leaving alone, or you'll be leaving with me."  
"Tell me now, Yuffie! I'm not letting anyone take you away from me!"  
"You have to. It's not safe here!"  
"Why not?"  
"He's got a lot more growing to do."  
"Yeah, sure. Yuffie…you're crazy! I don't know how to break this down to your level of comprehension right now, but you're a few crayons short of an 8-pack."

"I want to be as big as the universe, Vicente!"  
"I'm not Spanish. Whatever. You need some rest."

Yuffie leaned over as far as her near-swollen belly would allow and passionately French-kissed Vincent.  
"I love you, Vin, and I'm not lacking any crayons. I have enough to color you. Of course, you'll have to forgive me if I go outside the lines."

"I see. How many fingers am I holding up?"  
"That's a foot."  
"Dang it. That's right."  
"Vincent, am I drunk?"  
"You might as well be. When did you start feeling weird like this?"  
"I feel fine. I've felt grand ever since that dashing young man came through the window so long ago. Ah, how I'd like to have a slice of that again!"  
"Okay…what guy? Who visited you?"

Yuffie's seemingly-drunken smile turned into a semi-coherent, yet spiteful, smirk.  
"You're just jealous because this baby isn't yours! Yeah, that's right! My lover came in through the window on the first night that I arrived in Wutai. He was bigger than you. Much bigger."

Yuffie giggled seductively as she admitted, "It was almost too much for me to handle!"  
"Who was it?!"  
"Don't worry. He'll come."


	15. The Plan

Note: After weeks of careful consideration, I have changed my mind...again.

I originally said that I wasn't going to finish the story with just this one chapter, but I've worked it out so that it will all fit in to this one chapter.

So, without any further ado, the final chapter in Baroquen Heart.

Chapter 15- The Plan

...At the most inopportune time, he came...

Yuffie and Vincent were sitting in the kitchen, eating breakfast at the precise time in which Yuffie was to be 'taken up'.

"So, Yuffie, how are you feeling this morning?"

"He's coming."

"I know. You've been saying that every morning. It's like you've been brainwashed or something."

"Maybe. My brain needed a good scrub."

"Whatever. I'm going to the bathroom."

After completing his 'business', Vincent walked back into the kitchen.

He instantly jumped back and gasped for his breath.

Kadaj was standing behind Yuffie, placing his hands on her shoulders.

Yuffie was beginning to levitate off of the ground.

As Yuffie lifted her face in order to talk to Vincent, the eerie voice of Kadaj escaped from her throat.

"Have you seen this before, Vince? Deja Vu?"

Vincent simply uttered one word:

"...Lucretia."

She too had been with child...and used as an experiment.

"What are you going to do with Yuffie?!"

Kadaj smiled at Vince and replied, "All that needs to be done is an aiding of the natural process. She could not handle this on her own. She's so lucky that we're here to help."

"Yuffie has more strength and will power than you and all of your brothers combined."

"Not anymore."

Yuffie was whisked away, into the air.

Vincent was left behind in the kitchen, alone.

_____________________________________________________

Once Kadaj had returned to his base in the Forgotten City, Loz and Yazoo greeted him less than warmly.

"It's about time you got here.", Loz exclaimed.

Yazoo chirped in, "She is ripe...not long before the plucking."

The spell that had been cast on Yuffie's head was beginning to wear off, and she was understand more of their conversation.

"Hey, wha...what's going on?! What are you doing to me? I want to go home!"

"Oh great.", Kadaj mused. "Now the spell is wearing off. Let's cast it again."

"Can't.", Loz replied. "We used all of our Magic Points with that grand entrance."

"Darn."

Within this strange place, Yuffie felt compelled to check herself to make sure that she was all in one piece. Everything appeared fine. She didn't hurt anywhere, and her pregnant belly still looked as big as a beachball.

Yazoo carefully approached Yuffie and asked, "How far along are you? You appear fit to burst."

"I'm due in a week!"

"Oops.", Kadaj muttered.

Loz countered, "Oops? What oops? What's wrong?"

"She's too far along. It won't work."

"What won't work?" Yuffie queried.

Yazoo covered Yuffie's eyes with his arm and whispered, "We'll show you."

_______________________________________________

...White room...

...darkness in the light...

Yuffie was visibly smaller than before. Based on the fact that her belly now appeared only as big as a volleyball, she mused that this must be a representation of her 6th month, or thereabouts.

The only problem was...representations aren't supposed to hurt this much.

The brothers were still here. Their voices could still be heard, although Yuffie no longer cared to identify which voice belonged to whom.

"The patient is ready. I need the tiny camera."

Yuffie suddenly noticed that she was bare on an operating table, stripped in front of the three brothers.

"Ready to insert camera."

Yuffie couldn't help but giggle when the camera was placed inside of her. It tickled, but she wouldn't dare look at the screen.

"Right there. That's it."

"Gross."

"If it disgusts you, then you can cry home to mommy."

"I'm not crying!"

"Enough. I need the tube."

Yuffie grimaced as a tube was placed far inside of her, straight through to the baby itself.

"Hit the switch."

Yuffie instantly screamed and cried out, not in pain, but in fear for her child. Tears streamed down her face as the dangerous Mako was injected into her system.

The room suddenly went black, and everything was placed in its rightful order.

________________________________________________

...A dusty backroad...

...much more real than before...

...flat as an ironing board...

Yuffie and Vincent stood, far apart, at opposite ends of a small dirt road in the city limits of Wutai.

For some reason, Yuffie could easily believe that this was the real scenario for the moment. She wasn't giving birth. She wasn't being injected.

Yuffie was simply another butt that got stuffed in some shorts.

Normal.

Vincent was everything that he was supposed to be. The cape flapping in the wind...the calm demeanor...baby Hunter in his arms.

My mind still felt tampered with, and for some odd reason, I was shy and ashamed of Vincent. His first statement proved why.

"So, it's a...what do they call it?"

"A phantom pregnancy. Pseudocyesis."

"But for Kadaj? Why dream of him?"

"I have no idea. Vince, I'm so ashamed. What if it happens again?"

"The doctor said you were fine."

"It feels like we're hardly even married anymore."

"Nonsense. But I know what you mean."

"Sometimes I cry."

"I know. I'm there. Does my ring burn your finger?"

"Sometimes, that happens too. I wonder if I really deserve you."

"Of course you do."

"But things can never be the same. I've felt so deeply about another man. I've been subconsciously lying to you this whole time. My body betrayed you."

"We'll work through this. Come on, hop in the car and we'll get some breakfast."

"Thanks, but no thanks. I'll ride my bike."

"But you'll be over for supper?"

"Sure. I'm not leaving. I just need time to think."

"Time granted."

Yuffie smiled, and rode back down the old dirt road that she walked on as a child.


End file.
